What Is The Deal?!?!

I'm starving.

Seriously, all I want to do is eat. I see food and my eyes feel like they are about to jump out of my eye sockets. I just finished lunch about an hour ago and I'm already on the look out for my next fix. I'm not sure what is going on. I'm actually working out less this week. One would think that would slow down my hunger pains, right?

I'm eating just like I normally do for the most part. No drastic changes. I'm drinking water with the occasional caffeine fix. Lots of fats because I can't function without my almond butter and avocado. I really have no idea what is going on.

My sleep is wacky too. I was up at 4AM this morning and could not go back to sleep. Awful. Of course, this is because my husband left the house before 4AM and I had to endure really early morning alarms. Ugh. I think I'm just "off" this week. Even at 4AM though the first thing I thought was, "Oh my goodness get me food this instant."

Suggestions? Thoughts?

I do have to brag for a second about myself though....I went to Outback last night and only had two small sized slices of bread. Yes, that is an accomplishment. Yes, everyone else I was with resisted, but I'm weak when it comes to Outback bread. Since I normally eat about three loaves on my own I'm claiming this visit victorious.

To Trevor - I'm actually still trying to find my favorite places to shop paleo in the area. Whole Foods is opening in October/November which will be wonderful. I can usually find really good produce at Homeland, but it is more expensive. I don't worry about buying organic so for the most part I shop wherever it is convenient and there is almond butter. If you find a a good place though please share and good luck!

Good News

Today I went to the store for the first time in almost two weeks. I was trying out a new economical system. It was called, starving ourselves. :) Basically the plan was to just clean out the entire house before I went to the store again so we could save money. That worked OK, until all we had left were cans of beans, two mini Larabars and an avocado. The Mr. wasn't such a fan of my plan.

It actually worked out great that he kindly requested a shopping trip because now I have eggs, pork chops, lean steak, celery and almond butter (ahhhh heaven), bananas, natural almonds and some dried fruit for the Mr. to make his own trail mix. Yes, it feels good to have a house full of good food again.

The most amazing part is that we went one whole week without Diet Dr. Pepper in the house. For me, that is perfectly fine. For him, it is like asking someone to not breathe for one week. We survived though. No worries.

Probably the most exciting thing I can report, however, is that I only have one WOD left to go in the CrossFit Open! Hallelujah. I cannot tell you how excited I am to get the final WOD completed and in the books. If it wasn't for a phenomenal rip on my right hand during the fifth WOD, I would be doing WOD 6 this weekend and be done with it. Thanks toes to bar. I knew I hated you. Minor rips are major for me...I don't rip often so I don't handle the healing process well. More than likely it means I will wait until next week to get 11.6 completed, but that is fine with me.

This has been such a great learning process for me. Things that used to make me nervous now don't make me nervous at all (muscle ups). It has made me keep pushing myself because there is always someone somewhere that is kicking my butt. It has helped me stay in the moment and not freak out when a rep doesn't go well or I feel like I'm slowing down. Just keep moving. One rep after another. Stay focused. Just breathe.

Confession Time

I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

"Thank God for Twizzlers and Cinnamon Rolls. Yup, I said that."

I did mean every word. Yes, I know it goes against a lot of what I say and what I normally do. I have also always been very upfront that I think it is 100% impossible to eat 100% paleo 100% of the time. At least, for me it is. It is unrealistic. I like treats too much. However, I know how restrain myself and not go overboard.

Let me set the scene so you know how I came to that Facebook statement.

This week was week three of the CrossFit Open. The wod this week was an AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) of a squat clean and a jerk. Each movement counted for one point so a full clean and jerk was two points. The weight was 165# for men and 110# for women. Heavier, but manageable.

I had set a goal of getting thirty five reps. That is a lot. I know. On Friday I attempted the wod and got thirty full reps and one squat clean. I felt really good about the outcome. I knew I wanted more, but I was sitting in a good spot in the standings. No need to freak out and try again. However, I told myself if on Sunday I felt up for it I would give it another go. This is the type of wod I need to to more frequently. Heavier, fast and lots of reps. I actually want to start incorporating part of this into my weekly strength training with a shorter time domain. It is good to challenge yourself!

I worked out Saturday like normal. Sunday I was feeling fine so I showed up at the gym with a couple of other OKC'ers. I have to admit, prior to starting I was feeling very blah. The bar felt heavy and I wasn't feeling spunky. My approach was, "You already have a good score. Just pick it up and go. " I do so much better when I don't put pressure on myself. I knocked out thirty four reps. I had about six seconds to spare. My husband was kindly encouraging me to get another clean as I just turned around and sat down. I was done.

This brings me to my Facebook post. I was happy. My guilty pleasure is Twizzlers. They were the first thing I consumed after regionals last year and they are usually the first thing I want when I decide I'm going to indulge. It works for me. A small treat and when it is gone I am satisfied. I love my Twizzlers. On our way home we stopped to get a drink AND a nice little pack of Twizzlers all for me. I enjoyed every bite.

What is your guilty pleasure? Your special reward? Everyone has one and it is 100% OK to give yourself that wiggle room every now and then...even when you are training. It is good for your mental state. I know it is good for mine.

Don't worry, as I write this I'm drinking lots of water, eating turkey sausage and my almond butter.

Crystal Clear

We go through dishes really fast at our house. It seems like all twenty four of our spoons (twelve small, twelve large) are dirty in three days. Between two people, that seems pretty fast. The same goes for our cups. We use a lot of plastic cups in our house. Not the disposable plastic cups, but the novelty kind. They don't match, but they are functional. We are pretty low maintenance when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Yesterday, all of our trusty plastic wear was dirty. ::sigh:: We have a set of really pretty glass glasses that we got for our wedding. They have a little bubble in the bottom that is so cute. I fell in love with them when we registered for our wedding five years ago. We just don't use them that often unless people are over. I grabbed one of the small bubble glasses for my morning water since all my other options were dirty.

As I was watching the glass fill up I noticed something...the water was really pretty and soothing. I know, that sounds so silly, but I was completely mesmerized by the bubbles and flow of the water in my glass bubble glass! I had never really noticed before because I always use plastic.

It made me start thinking about how simple and beautiful it was at the same time. How wonderful, pure, clean items are refreshing and lovely. It made me want to keep filling up my glass throughout the day. I drank SO much water. I felt awesome.

My new rule: Never drink water out of a plastic glass. I want to enjoy the purity of it. Seeing it helps remind me how clean items help keep my body clean. An easy reminder that I am making a good choice for my body and my health!

Wasteful

I don't know what my deal is. I go to the store. I buy lots of wonderful, clean foods. Celery, carrots, strawberries, pork, lean steak, eggs, etc. I have great plans of what I will make each evening for dinner. I have visions of zucchini noodles dancing through my head. However, as I should know with my life track record, my plans almost 85% of the time do not plan out. Why? Because life is unpredictable. Sure, it doesn't help that I have a husband who has no control over his schedule. I like to eat with him. I hate cooking for one so when he can't make it home at a decent hour I tend to forgo my lovely meal plans and eat some hard boiled eggs and almonds. Ugh. The problem with this, besides the fact that my food choices for dinner get boring, is that all the good meat I buy goes out of date! It ends up going in the freezer on the "Use By" date and usually doesn't make it's way out of the freezer. Does anyone else have this problem? This morning I am going through my fridge trying to make sure nothing is out of date and what do I see?? A package of pork chops and two beautiful steaks that have a "Use By" date of TODAY. AHH! I was not about to let the freezer eat my food again. I just finished grilling my pork chops and the steak is being cooked for dinner tonight...no matter what. I swear I just bought them two days ago, but my weeks go by so fast that I'm pretty sure they have been sitting there for almost a week. I am so embarrassed. I think I'm going to make a calendar and post it on my fridge. I am going to mark the calendar with the expiration dates of all the fresh food in my fridge so I don't have to dig through it anymore. Hopefully this will cut down on waste AND encourage me to keep eating healthy, clean meals for dinner. CrossFit Open Update: WOD 2 is done and in the books. I'm really happy with how it went. I only hope the next four weeks are as positive regardless of outcome. Speaking of outcome, there has been a lot of negativity about The Open. I have had my few choice thoughts and words about it. Today on CrossFit Lisbeth she had a GREAT post. Please go here and read it even if you aren't a CrossFitter. It is all about perspective. Sometimes we all need a little bit of that when we get wrapped up in our own crazy world.

Failure

Warning...

This post is not about food.

What is failure? To a lot of people failure is defeat. It is not accomplishing something you set out to accomplish. It is missing the mark. It is disappointment.

Being the crazy list maker/goal setter that I am, I have been faced with failure many times. Failure to check everything off my list in what I thought was an appropriate amount of time. Failure to hit my goal weight or time on a lift or WOD. Failure to be happy with the progress I have made.

So how do you handle failure?

When I was younger I would pout or get upset. Completely natural. With disappointment comes emotion. If you don't feel emotion then you probably don't care enough. If you don't care then what is the point in pursuing a goal?

However, now I am older. Now I know how to deal with failure and disappointment better. Does it mean I deal with it the right what all the time? No, but I try. I know I won't always win, but I will try. I know I won't make every lift, but I will try.

I say all this because currently I am going through the CrossFit Open to hopefully win a spot to participate in the North Central Regional in May. I have set goals for myself with skill work and lifts. I have decided the things I need to be able to do to get to my end goal. The Games.

In the past year I have 100% changed my outlook on CrossFit. I do my best to not compare myself to others, but to compare myself to ME. For instance, I am self confessed awful at overhead strength. I know it is all relative, but for me it is not where it needs to be. I have hurt both shoulders in the last year, but that is not an excuse. It is just a weakness that I have to work extremely hard to overcome. I'm getting better. Today, I push pressed 140. That was a 12 pound PR. I was happy. That was not failure. After that I attempted to set a PR on a push jerk. I failed miserably at 170. In my mind, anything under 180 is unacceptable even though I have never hit 180. Why? Because I know I am capable of that weight. Does that mean I am capable of it right now though? Maybe not. Have I put in the work to get there? Not yet. Will I continue to put in the work so I can get there? Yes. Will I get there. You betcha.

In the past, failing at that weight when I have my heart set on something else would destroy me. I would think about it for days. Let it consume me. Today, my failure motivated me. Today, my failure told me to keep working. Today, my failure pushed me to get better. It doesn't mean I'm satisfied, but it means I know to take progress in stride and be excited and proud of myself even when I don't get where I want to be. It takes time.

Success does not come overnight. Bring on the failed attempts. Bring on the less than stellar benchmark WOD times. Bring on anything to keep pushing me to work harder, get stronger and get faster. I like the motivation.

Breakfast Score!

I love sausage. I love the smell of bacon, sausage and eggs cooking in the morning. It gives me a happy feeling inside. For the last year I have been making my own turkey sausage, which is great. It doesn't take a terribly long time and it is pretty tasty. However, sometimes I get in a rut and need a change.

Last week at the store I found something that changed my life. How I haven't run across this before is beyond me, but our paths finally crossed and all is now right with the world.

Jennie-O Turkey Breakfast Sausage Links.

There is something different about sausage links. They just taste more breakfast-y.

Fourteen come in a package. I cooked all of them on the skillet ::sigh::. I love cooking on the skillet. They keep really great in the fridge and are an easy treat during the middle of the day. Inexpensive and tasty.

Confession:

I also bought a jar of Nutella. Thankfully it isn't empty yet. I have a tendency to demolish it in two days. Shame.