Failure

Warning...

This post is not about food.

What is failure? To a lot of people failure is defeat. It is not accomplishing something you set out to accomplish. It is missing the mark. It is disappointment.

Being the crazy list maker/goal setter that I am, I have been faced with failure many times. Failure to check everything off my list in what I thought was an appropriate amount of time. Failure to hit my goal weight or time on a lift or WOD. Failure to be happy with the progress I have made.

So how do you handle failure?

When I was younger I would pout or get upset. Completely natural. With disappointment comes emotion. If you don't feel emotion then you probably don't care enough. If you don't care then what is the point in pursuing a goal?

However, now I am older. Now I know how to deal with failure and disappointment better. Does it mean I deal with it the right what all the time? No, but I try. I know I won't always win, but I will try. I know I won't make every lift, but I will try.

I say all this because currently I am going through the CrossFit Open to hopefully win a spot to participate in the North Central Regional in May. I have set goals for myself with skill work and lifts. I have decided the things I need to be able to do to get to my end goal. The Games.

In the past year I have 100% changed my outlook on CrossFit. I do my best to not compare myself to others, but to compare myself to ME. For instance, I am self confessed awful at overhead strength. I know it is all relative, but for me it is not where it needs to be. I have hurt both shoulders in the last year, but that is not an excuse. It is just a weakness that I have to work extremely hard to overcome. I'm getting better. Today, I push pressed 140. That was a 12 pound PR. I was happy. That was not failure. After that I attempted to set a PR on a push jerk. I failed miserably at 170. In my mind, anything under 180 is unacceptable even though I have never hit 180. Why? Because I know I am capable of that weight. Does that mean I am capable of it right now though? Maybe not. Have I put in the work to get there? Not yet. Will I continue to put in the work so I can get there? Yes. Will I get there. You betcha.

In the past, failing at that weight when I have my heart set on something else would destroy me. I would think about it for days. Let it consume me. Today, my failure motivated me. Today, my failure told me to keep working. Today, my failure pushed me to get better. It doesn't mean I'm satisfied, but it means I know to take progress in stride and be excited and proud of myself even when I don't get where I want to be. It takes time.

Success does not come overnight. Bring on the failed attempts. Bring on the less than stellar benchmark WOD times. Bring on anything to keep pushing me to work harder, get stronger and get faster. I like the motivation.